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August 14th, 2008
09:10 am
No more journal open for everyone to read...
...I just feel like a more private person I guess :)
All entries will now be Friends Only so unless you're logged in and friended,
- this is it.
That being said, the more the merrier :) Just want to know who I'm "talking at".
G'day, and see you on the otherside <3
xoxo
Karen
Current Mood:  peaceful
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August 9th, 2008
09:16 pm
I'm exhausted.
Whotely crap.
Boneparte was beautiful. It always is, being in nature, seeing the lake... but it's changed so much. The paths I ran as a kid are gone, worn away by time and change. Taking Kaeda was work, not relaxing, and I didn't bring enough to read.
Plus, Kaeda is sleeping less. thus so am I.
I feel wrecked.
yeesh.... just so bone tired. to the point where I was so irritable and mean I shocked myself. Poor Bee, who gets the worst of it.
Current Mood:  exhausted
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July 29th, 2008
08:57 pm
being creative can be frustrating sometimes.
especially now, with so little free time... it's like I'll go into a book store, browse the titles, the new editions, the shiny hardcovers... it's almost like jealousy, they finally did it - they've published a books, their story, their hard work. It's unnerving, shoots my confidence sometimes. Mostly cause I just can't get the groove I used to have when I didn't care. I'm too much the perfectionist now, it's never good enough. I feel like I'm forcing words that just used to flow like water on to the page. I hate that feeling, why should it change now? Why should it be so hard when I loved it so much, I still do love it.
I do the same thing with art, I never get the chance to draw. Since my discovery of my love of painting... I have the tools, the empty canvas - even the ideas - but I never seem to find the time. I'd love to paint a portrait of Kaeda. But acrylic dries fast so unlike things like WoW I can't do it in fifteen minute bursts.
It makes me wonder you know... will be I be forty and praying and nagging my daughter to WAIT! don't get married, don't have kids, just take your time to yourself... you know, I see or hear other moms say things like that "I wish I'd waited a little longer, more time to myself, more time with my hubby". Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom - it gets better every day - I just don't wanna feel like that later on, I don't wanna regret things, wish I had more time or something.
I'm an idealist and I know it. I always want things to be how I dream them - I want to live off my published works - painting and drawing while being a stay-at-home mom too. I want to get married - one day - and I want to do it once - no divorce. I want the white picket fence but with a funky-cool home life that's not so white-picket-fence-tame. People are always telling you you can do anything if you believe enough, if you try hard enough. I hope that's true. I hope things can be like that for me, for us... sometimes though, sometimes it's just hard to deal with the reality, the practicality of life.
Current Mood: crushed
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July 19th, 2008
07:18 pm
SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHHHHh...
it was a long day. beh. Kaeda, Mom and I went to the Kau Inoa family reunion - aka - the Hawaiian side of the family. It seemed a lot like the Nahanee (squamish nation side of the family) gathering.. just more... flowery. lawls. There was close to 400 ppl... and it was dreadfully organized - no snacks or drinks, lunch???? was served at around 330.... (as we were escaping) and the Elders did tend to drone on and on..... I missed the performances as I took Kaeda out to the Van to try and get her to sleep.
Ugh. It was just... well let me put it this way - I was considering attempting to drag Cait along (as it seems tradition to bring her to reunions) but I wouldn't even wish that disaster on her.
Don't get me wrong - I LOVE my family. In fact I had a great time seeing them (the ones I actually knew, there were a lot I "knew" by name or face but not both and there were even more I had no clue about - some 360ish) I just would much rather see them some where else... almost anywhere else. I think it's great seeing my heritage, but this is chaos and not very intimate. A nice picnic or lunch at someone's house would have been better.... (again for the ppl I actually KNOW).
I did see Dallas and her daughter Dannie (who's now just shy of 2 and has as much hair as Kaeda). Very adorable. The whole trip was made worth it though cause I got to see Sadie and Caleb - I haven't seen them in nearly 2 years.... maaannn we used to spend spring break and at least a week of every summer with them..... They've grown so much you have no idea..... Sadie TALKS! She's not a shy wallflower anymore! Her hair is all nifty and pretty - she's brilliant, literally she got the highest grades in socials 11 in her city EVER. was in the paper and everything. And Caleb the little punk! like... 6'2" and all skin & bones.... he's a giant! and he LOOKS grown up - and SOUNDS it... I couldn't get over it.... according to Sadie he has some "3 or 4 girlfriends" lawls. I missed them. I wish they weren't going to Cranbrook tomorrow.... I wish I could see them for a little longer.
Funny, I read about this in all those pregnancy articles - sort of grasping for adult company... I'm not sure I'm really at that stage, but something changed after Kaeda in that regard.... I guess a lot of things that were important became silly and a lot of things I took for granted I saw in a new light. Family is one of those things. Their support and friendship is a pillar of strength when I need it. I don't just mean blood family either. Cait, you're family too, and I missed you and it's awesome how after 3ish years apart we can still be on the same page. It's made me wonder about Jiuna more too... made me forgive things when before I couldn't forget. Made me a more... laid back person I guess... maybe I was just a little too righteous before.
But whatever... I'm rambling... I discovered in my last entry how much fun rambling is, you never know just what might happen.
Current Mood: exhausted
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July 15th, 2008
02:21 pm
*hack cough cough* I told Bee last night that he was not allowed to cough at all while we slept (because we are both sick and it's very hard not to hack and cough) but IF he WERE to cough, it would wake Kaeda and me. WHICH would not be fair as I managed not to cough unless she was already awake. You see if she wakes up, she blinks, stares up at you, smiles, tries to grab your necklace, mouth, eyeballs etc. THEN she giggles, rolls over, struggles to get up on all fours - possibly uttering a little complaintive cry - gives up and lays on her tummy, head up staring at you some more. THEN she has to find something to do eg: chew blankets, climb on you, grab her toes.... AND THEN... well then you can't damn well sleep - especially if it's the middle of the night and dark and she can't even see so all she can manage is step one - which would be grabbing your eyeballs.
ANYWAY. He didn't cough much, so that was good.
....
really I don't have much to write about. I guess. other than taking about what I did this day or that which is kinda pointless when it's mostly me and ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=91.6) tater_mae who read this. And well... she already knows most of what I would natter on about. I just noticed that TATER MAE is CREEPILY alike to Kaeda (name wise)... HOW you ask? well let's see... Kaeda comes from Ada with a K... but Kada would be mispronounced too often for my liking, and Kayda... well I just don't really like K and Y in a name. Reminds me of Kayla and Kyla and Kathryn and Kaitlyn and I don't like it OK. SO I picked Kae as in Mae - in which ae isn't actually grammatically correct english of the "A as in HAY" sound.
--- Moving along, Kaeda is often shortened to Kaders, OR Katers - Kater Tater or just Tater (also potato). Like is that not just a little weird? a little like subconscious squishiness? ... But If I'm going to go there (which I already have) I should add that Kaeda is called Kady (Katie) too some times... and Katie is Bee's first gf (who's getting married in Aug and they were both kinda hung up on each other). ALSO Kaeda sounds similar to K-dawg.... which was the nick name of yet another friend.
there I'm done. I know I know... but rambling is fun. So there.
Ps. WoW is calling you.... CALLING YOU... left you a msg on your phone, says "Hey Hey, come play me. YA. WHAT NOW. HUH?!" thats what it said... ya....
Current Mood: amused
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June 13th, 2008
06:03 pm
My Ode to Craigslist
I love you craigslist <3
Thank you for my rat cage. 80$
Thank you for my Stroller. 150$
Thank you for selling my parent's freezer,
in one day might I add! (it was free)
Thank you for buying back my rat cage. 100$
And thank you for endless amusement in the platonic personals.
LAWLS
Current Mood: cheerful
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June 7th, 2008
04:30 pm
Kaeda is getting so big! She can almost crawl at 5 months! Daddy is already trying to teach her to walk with varied success. I keep telling him he's going to regret getting her to walk early. Although I suppose I get to be the lucky one chasing her around all day while he works.
That's where he is now, working away. The trades may pay well, and he may love them, and he may be good at them - but some of the guys he meets... maaaannn they are so... guys-guys - or just plain pigheaded. Ah well, if he keeps it up we'll be rich.
Rich enough to go to Australia? I really, really want to go again... Mum & Dad are going in Feb. If I go with them Kades will be 13/14 months, under two and she travels for free! But she'll be old enough to walk, and to love seeing new things. She already loves watching Scully, she laughs and laughs at Scully playing fetch. I've been calculating airmiles and looking at ticket prices... it might be do-able if we start saving now. Bee is on the fence about going, he kinda wants/needs to stay and work - but how much longer will it be before he CAN go? Before we can both afford it? And wouldn't it be nice to go with my parents just for the extra support with the Bugaboo?
Cait if you're still semi-planning an aus trip you should think about next spring-breakish *winkwinknudgenudge*
Current Location: HOME. .. ..... ?
Current Mood:  busy
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May 29th, 2008
08:44 pm
Things just never seem to stay nice'n easy for long enough.
We're drowning in debt again, or as usual? ... slowly digging our way out. Teamwork and time! Thats pretty much all we got...
Bee got sick last friday - sick like the flu? but cause he's a diabetic it was off the hosptial (i mean there was like violent puking). That was friday morning: up at 6am, taking care of Kaeda, Bee and moving Steve along to work.... we took Bee to emerg around 930 and he was there a long time. IV & they tried to soak his torn up hands (19hr shift the night before with cement work) and he went into shock. He got home around 6pm, I picked up dad from the airport around 7pm, mom got home after 11pm. 230am He's sick again. 3am we're in the hospital again. 5am I'm home again. 11am hospital - lots more IV and they're keeping him overnight for observation. Lots of back and forth. 1pm sunday they let him go home. Still a week of recovery.
mean while we have bills to pay. things to do. argh. it wouldn't be that big a problem if little things like sickness or timing didn't get in our way.
on a lighter note:
Kaeda's nearly 7month old cousin Laynee visited today. It was very funny seeing to the two of them together; Laynee is the first baby Kaeda has really got to interact with. Guess what? She cried. Kaeds who smiles at everyone and grins and dog noses that get stuck in her face - cried when Laynee laughed and played with her toys. She would turn and look up at me with huge, wet eyes as if to say "Mummy, what is it?!?! help me! don't leave me alone with her!!!" She was really quite adorably traumatized by the presence of another little person running around. It was funny too cause they were actually quite close in size even though Kaeds is 6 weeks younger. Laynee however is already crawling and standing with help, she's very mobile.
I can't wait until Kaeda is old enough to enjoy Disneyland and the zoo. I want to buy her a princess dress and let her run around Disneyland like it's her own magical world. I can't wait to watch her pretend to be animals as we go from exhibit to exhibit at the zoo.... hmm, but today really made me realize I need to find a baby group or something...
bah.. cats are fighting again.
lucky them, its the vet tomorrow!
Kaeds is calling.....
Current Mood:  blah
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May 17th, 2008
08:43 pm
Bllllaaaaaaaaarrgghh....
I is not really sure this week will be awesomes. Ma&Pa are going to Quebec, annnnnnnd that means lots of lonely time for MEEEEEEEEEEEE. boo. Steve and Bee working.
hmm...
They are mostly hopeless too. I must nag and track their doings.
*sulk*
Current Mood: bored
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April 17th, 2008
06:37 pm
OMG.
So. this company CANADIAN BABY PHOTOGRAPHERS calls me outta the blue one day and says
"Hey, we'll be in your area tomorrow taking photos. We can come to your house, take some of Kaeda FOR FREE and get back to you where you'll get a FREE 5"x7" & a calendar just for considering the photos."
and I was like, what the hell, it's all free - why not - I'd LOVE some wallets to hand out. Anyway, the photographer turned out to be GREAT. He was very professional, awesome with Kaeda, took beautiful shots. I was thrilled. About a week later they scheduled Vlad to come over and show me the shots.... W-hheehheh-elll... I was a little concerned, cause the website doesn't mention prices, and the lady on the phone only said Vlad would "EXPLAIN" them.
So they're adorable - but really as a mum I find ALL her pictures adorable. And they'd make great gifts.... so I ask about the pricing. Dead serious Vlad says:
"Don't worry, none of our packages are over 2000 dollars."
EXCUSE ME?!?!
the cheapest package on sale = $249.00
5 5"x7" = $99.00
OMG. I mean they're cute, but we're in the digital age!!!! I already have over a thousand pictures of her! Just think about how many more I'll have????? I mean she's only 3 1/2 months!!! And COME ON! My camera does Sepia and Canotype and Black and white! It zooms, it times, it has fantastic detail!!!! WTF am I paying for! for some of their prices you could buy YOUR OWN camera and have pictures for life!!!
*pant pant*
okay, had to get that outta my system. I mean. at least I managed not to laugh in poor Vlad's face and tell him to get outta my house.... :P
Current Mood:  enraged
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